I Will Reach You
by SVUCSIWTRDOOLluver
Summary: This is a story that takes place the summer after Emily fakes her death. Let's just say that Garcia doesn't exactly accept her death at face value and goes digging...setting into play a chain of events that no one saw coming. Will she fall apart when she's faced with the consequences of her actions, or will Derek be able to reach her and save her? Chapter 8 is up, now COMPLETE!
1. If You Got A Candle

**Welcome to another Criminal Minds story from me! A little about this story: it takes place after Emily 'dies' but before the team actually discovers she's alive. Yes, JJ and Hotch are the only ones that know about it, but that's about to change in this story. Garcia uses her fabulous hacking powers and discovers a very big secret…and she decides to do something about it.**

**Enjoy!**

"What can I do for you, Garcia?" Hotch asked when the newly-dyed redhead slipped into his office after knocking.

"I was wondering if I could take a week off, vacation time," She asked, sitting in one of the chairs on the other side of his desk.

"Not a problem, considering you have nearly a month of vacation time stored up. Going anywhere in particular?" He asked, and she smiled, saying,

"I'm going to Italy for a friend's wedding. We used to be inseparable in high school, and after graduation she went to study in Italy and stayed there. Now she met this hot Italian guy and they're getting married on Saturday, but I want to fly out tomorrow to help with the wedding,"

"Sounds like fun," Hotch said, and then commented, "Short notice though,"

"Yeah, well, I just now got the invite because she kept getting my address wrong. She invited me over by e-mail at first and I originally told her I couldn't go because you guys needed me, but,"

"We still need you, Garcia, but you deserve some time off," Hotch said quietly, and Garcia nodded before going on and saying,

"But I need a vacation, especially after Emily, I really just need a change of scenery for a while. I don't think it'll be longer than a week but I'll let you know," She said quickly and he nodded. The colorful, bubbly tech had become subdued and less giggly lately, and Hotch hated that this was happening to her when he could stop it. But at the same time, he knew he couldn't. It was either the team suffers through the hell of losing a teammate and a friend or Emily Prentiss gets killed for real.

"Completely understandable," He murmured and she stood up, saying,

"I'd better get going. I've got a lot of packing to do. Mind if I stop by on my way to the airport and say goodbye to your adorable little boy?"

"No, I don't mind. I'll walk you out," He offered, getting to his feet.

"Only if you promise me that you won't come back in here and work," She countered, and he sighed, saying,

"All right. Give me a few minutes; I'll meet you down the stairs,"

She nodded and slipped out of his office, going down to sit on her Chocolate Adonis's desk. "Are we still on for tomorrow night?" He asked and she nodded, saying,

"I'll be finished packing by then. Don't forget, you're driving me to the airport,"

"I haven't forgotten. I'll just pick you up early."

"You do that. And I want to stop by Hotch's before I leave, say goodbye to Jack, and I can't forget my little godson Henry," She said thoughtfully and he made to grab her arm as she got up.

"Whoa where you going?"

"Hotch is being a gentleman and walking me out to the parking lot, Hot Stuff. He's also leaving here at a normal time for a human being for once. Two birds, one stone." She told him as she began walking over to meet Hotch.

"You know I love you right?" He called, and she shot back,

"What's not to love?"

Morgan chuckled as he stretched and got ready to leave himself. Garcia chatted Hotch's ear off about her trip to Italy as they rode the elevator down and walked to the parking lot together. She had her hand in the crook of his arm the whole way and when they reached her car, they realized that they had parked next to each other that day. Hotch actually smiled and laughed and Garcia commented,

"You should smile more, Aaron, it looks good on you,"

"Thanks, I think,"

She grinned again and opened her car door. "I'll see you tomorrow Hotch,"

"Good night Penelope," He said and raised his hand as she drove away.

As she drove home she couldn't get the images out of her head that she had found when she went digging last night. Penelope Garcia wasn't a hacker for kicks, she knew how to go deep and how to cover her tracks. And the information she had found wasn't out in plain sight, it was hidden deeply in cyberspace.

She didn't know what had prompted her to do it, she really didn't, but last night when she couldn't sleep for fear of dreams of Emily dying, she opened her computer and went digging into Emily's death.

What she had found was disturbing.

It was so simple she wondered why she hadn't looked before. Emily's bank accounts, seemingly still full, had in reality been empty and transferred a good hundred times to confuse a would-be hacker. However, Garcia wasn't a would-be hacker, she was a damn good one and she found the funds had been funneled into a bank account in France in the name of a woman, Celeste Amelia Benoit. There were two other accounts with different names as well, but when Garcia kept digging first on Celeste, she discovered that she actually lived in Italy, and when she found her driver's license, she enlarged the picture and swore she felt her heart nearly stop.

The picture was Emily Prentiss, with her hair cut and dyed and her eyes were a different color but there was no doubt in her mind that it was her supposedly dead friend. The other two women were the same picture only differed in hair style and hair and eye color. Garcia knew that the one she was looking for was Celeste Benoit as she remembered Emily saying once that she had always wanted to go see Italy.

Her first instinct was to go to Hotch and show him the evidence that Emily was alive, but suddenly she realized that while the rest of them were grieving in the waiting room, JJ and Hotch were standing outside in the hallway, not looking so devastated.

They knew.

There was no other explanation. They had kept the secret from the rest of the team, putting them through hell. She couldn't go to him, and she sure as hell couldn't go to JJ. Without really thinking she bought a ticket to Italy and sent her friend an email, saying that she actually would be in town for the wedding.

It had actually been difficult not to slap her boss across the face when she walked into his office and saw him sitting there, pretending to grieve like the rest of them but in reality, he knew Emily Prentiss was alive and he wasn't suffering like the rest of them. The bastard.

That night she packed all of her clothes and stuff and in the morning she packed her toothbrush and everything else, setting everything by the door so it would be easier to load into Morgan's car the next night. That was something else she couldn't do, tell the rest of them until she knew for sure whether or not Emily Prentiss was alive and breathing.

But Penelope Garcia wasn't stupid. She knew there had to be a good reason why Emily faked her death. And that reason had two words: Ian Doyle. While she purchased her ticket and made hotel reservations she was well aware of someone watching her. She quickly figured out that Doyle was watching her movements and the rest of the team's movements too. He was probably making sure that Emily wasn't dead, or he knew, somehow, that Emily was still alive and he was hoping someone in the team would lead him straight to her. Well, she wasn't going to be the one to lead him straight to her.

She didn't do anything except make Doyle think she was surfing for a wedding present when she was really digging deep into the FBI to find Emily's exact address. She erased everything she had done with Emily and shut her computer down.

And if Doyle followed her to Italy, well, she knew how to ditch a tail. But she would be bringing the gun that Morgan had forced her to buy and then had taken her to go the gun range so she could learn how to shoot it. He commented that it was too bad that she hated guns because she was a natural markswoman.

Penelope Garcia didn't intend for her team to lose anyone else to Ian Doyle

The next day, Garcia walked into the BAU and Morgan immediately got up to escort her to her office. "So, new Harry Potter movie at 5?"

"That works. I have to be at the airport at 8 because my flight leaves at 10 and I'm supposed to land at 3am our time which is actually 9am Italy time. I've already told Emma that I am napping when I get to the hotel and that I'd meet her for dinner,"

"All right. You packed?"

"Eh. Mostly. I'm hopefully going to get out of here at 3 and finish packing everything."

"Just ask Hotch, I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem with that,"

"Yeah, I will, later. Right now I've got a cyber-date," She said, settling herself down in her chair.

"Excuse me? Cyber-date? With who?" Morgan demanded, and Garcia chuckled.

"With my sightseeing company in Italy, oh jealous one,"

"Yeah whatever," He muttered, pulling up another chair and helping Garcia pick out places to visit while she was in Italy. While they were doing that, in the back of Garcia's mind she was thinking, _there you go, Doyle, I'm going for a wedding and sightseeing. Satisfied?_

**Yes, Doyle is in this story, since it takes place before he was caught. So Garcia has found Emily, and she's going to find her, to see if her cyber-info is completely accurate. And she's safe-guarded against Doyle, so nothing can go wrong, right? Wrong! Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you like this story!**


	2. You Better Light It Now

**Chapter 2 has been posted! Oh and if you were wondering, the title and the names of the chapters come from a song called "I Will Reach You" by the Irish group Westlife. I am seriously in love with all of their songs, so I picked one to represent this story. **

**Now Garcia is leaving for Italy, and she says her goodbyes to the team before she goes.**

**Enjoy!**

When 3 o'clock rolled around, Garcia went to ask Hotch if she could leave, and he gave her the okay. She went back to her apartment, finished some last-minute packing and when Morgan pulled up, she had all of her stuff downstairs in the courtyard and was waiting for him. He loaded all of her luggage into his car and she went back up to her apartment to make sure she had everything and then she locked up.

"You're got your key right?" She said to Morgan as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"Yep. Don't worry, I'll make sure no one breaks into your apartment,"

"That's very appreciated, Morgan," She said sweetly, smiling at him. He chuckled and drove to the movie theatre. Both Morgan and Garcia were big Harry Potter fans and even though they'd seen the movie a dozen times, one more wouldn't hurt.

When the movie was over, he drove to JJ's apartment, which was closer to the theatre. Garcia knocked at the door and though JJ opened the door, little Henry was waiting for his godmother. "Henry!" Garcia exclaimed, bending down and lifting the little guy up into her arms.

"Henry's going to miss his godmother, and so will I," JJ said with a smile and gave Garcia a hug. "You have fun and take tons of pictures," She instructed, and Garcia nodded.

"Definitely. And I'll send you and my adorable godson here a postcard. I'm bringing my laptop so we can Skype,"

"All right. And call me when you land, no matter what time it is,"

"If it's late I'll just text you," Garcia said, giving Henry one last hug.

"No, I want you to call me," JJ stressed, and Garcia rolled her eyes.

"Fine, whatever, oh worried one," She gave Henry to Morgan and wrapped her arms around JJ. "I'll miss you too, JJ,"

"Don't get lost and stay safe," JJ ordered as Morgan and Garcia went to walk out.

"I will, I promise," Garcia said and then JJ waved them off. Next Morgan drove to Hotch's apartment where Jack was waiting by the door in the hallway. When Garcia stepped off the elevator, Jack yelled, "Auntie Penelope!" And hurtled down the hallway.

"Careful!" Hotch warned from his apartment doorway as Jack jumped into Garcia's arms and she held him tightly.

"Hey there Jackers," Garcia said with a grin, swinging the little boy around. "He's fine, Hotch," Garcia assured her boss as she reached his apartment.

"Auntie Penelope going on vacation?" Jack asked with a sad face, and Garcia smiled, saying,

"Yes, but I'll be back soon, so don't you worry,"

"Okie dokie!" Jack said happily and noisily kissed Garcia on her cheek. "Have fun Auntie Penelope! I love you!" He drawled out the 'I love you' and Garcia grinned, kissing the boy on his nose and said,

"I will, and I love you too. I'll miss you, Jack,"

"I'll miss you too. Come by for movie night when you get back! Pinky promise!" Jack demanded, and Garcia smiled, extending her pinky.

"I pinky promise I'll come back for a movie night when I get back from vacation."

"Good." Jack said, nodding as Garcia set him down and he ran off to play with his toys after saying hello to Morgan.

"Well that little man just adores you, doesn't he?" Morgan said, shaking his head.

"I babysit when Jessica wants to go out and boss-man here is away, he's a sweetheart," Garcia said, beaming at the little boy playing with his toys.

"He's something all right," Hotch said, affectionately looking at his son.

"We'd better get going, baby girl," Morgan said, glancing at his watch.

"Okay. Bye, Hotch, I'll see you when I get back," She said, giving her boss a quick hug.

"Call me when you get home and we can set up that movie night you promised Jack,"

"Deal." She said and walked out with Morgan, waving as Hotch shut and locked the front door behind them.

Morgan parked at the airport amid Garcia's protests that he could just drop her off by the door and she could make her way in. He carried her bags inside and then loaded them to be scanned. When he flashed his badge he was allowed to walk her all the way to the loading gate, where she had an hour to wait until she had to board for her flight to Italy.

"So you promise to call me every night?" He said as they ate their subs while sitting in the chairs by the gate.

"Yes, father," She said, rolling her eyes. He elbowed her as she laughed at him.

"Your French-y language won't help you over in the Italian peninsula," Morgan warned her and she shrugged, saying,

"Hopefully most people speak English. Worse comes to worse, I'll have my laptop and I'll use the translator application,"

He shook his head and took another bite, saying, "You and your technology,"

"Admit it, my technology has saved your ass much more than once, gorgeous,"

"Yes, yes it has," Morgan admitted with a smile and they finished their subs in silence.

The voice over the intercom told the pair that Garcia's flight was getting ready to board and Garcia got to her feet and reached for her carry-on bag. Morgan got to his feet and crumbled up his sub wrapper and took Garcia's too. "I guess this is goodbye, for now," Garcia said, looking at Morgan.

"Yeah," He said softly, looking at her with an expression that Garcia couldn't quite place. And then, it hit her. She knew he didn't want to let her go after he was forced to let Emily go weeks before.

"I'll come back, Derek, I promise," She whispered, reaching out and touching his cheek gently.

"Pinky promise?" He said, a bit childishly, and she smiled softly, linking her pinky finger with his and saying,

"I pinky promise and cross my heart," She crossed her heart "that I'll come back to you safe and sound,"

"You'd better or I'll kick your butt," He said in a murmur and he drew her close to him, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"I love you, Derek Morgan,"

"I love you more, Penelope Garcia,"

"Oh I disagree my Chocolate God of Thunder," Garcia said with a grin and he kissed her forehead as the last call came for Garcia's flight to board.

She disengaged herself from Morgan's arms and grabbed her bag, heading for the gate. She paused before she boarded and gazed back at him, raising her hand in farewell, and Morgan did the same. Garcia blew him a quick kiss before disappearing onto her flight.

"No, I love you more, my Tech Goddess," He said quietly to himself and he turned, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked out of the airport and went home to Clooney.

When her plane finally landed at the airport, she grabbed her luggage and went outside the airport to hail a cab to her hotel and pulled out her phone, dialing Morgan. "Hey baby girl you okay?" He asked when he answered the phone, and she replied,

"I'm okay, I'm getting a cab to the hotel and I'm going to get all of my stuff put away and then I'm going to sleep. Oh my God, it's 3am in Virginia isn't it?"

"More like 4am now," Morgan said with a yawn and Garcia quickly apologized.

"I am so sorry, Derek, I completely forgot about those damn time zones,"

"No, Princess, it's okay, it's fine," Morgan soothed her, and she sighed.

"Go get some sleep, Hot Stuff, and I'll text you when I get up,"

"Don't forget," He warned, and she assured him that she wouldn't forget. "Sweet dreams, Penelope," Morgan said affectionately and Garcia grinned, saying,

"Same to you, Derek,"

They hung up and Garcia loaded her luggage onto the cab and gave the cabbie the hotel's address. While the cab sped through the streets, Garcia dialed JJ's number. "Agent Jareau," JJ's sleepy voice said and Garcia exclaimed,

"Why didn't you let it go to your voicemail?"

"Because I was waiting for you to call. Did your flight land okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine and I'm on my way to the hotel to sleep for hours on end. Go back to sleep, Jayje, I'll text you when I wake up,"

"All right. Night Pen," JJ said and hung up as the cab pulled up in front of the hotel. Garcia checked in, dragged her luggage up the stairs and dropped into sleep as soon as she hit the bed.

That evening when Garcia dragged herself out of bed she called her friend Ava Mendel and made plans for dinner. Over some real Italian pasta the two women chatted about the wedding and the future groom. Their gossip session went late into the night and early into the next morning in Garcia's hotel room when the two girls finally passed out from exhaustion.

**And now it's time for Garcia's friend's wedding, and afterwards Garcia goes for a little 'sightseeing', AKA finding Emily. Will it go smoothly? Absolutely not. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you like this story so far!**


	3. If You Got A Voice

**Chapter 3 is up! Garcia helps Ava with the wedding, and then the wedding day finally arrives. After the wedding, Garcia actual does go sightseeing, but then she takes a tiny side trip to find Emily. And find her she does, though Emily's not alone…**

**Enjoy!**

The wedding was in exactly a week, and the next day Garcia went with Ava to finalize flower orders, catering arrangements, chapel and hall rental and the like. The second day was when Garcia went to get her bridesmaid dress and try it on. It fit perfectly, though they needed to make it a little longer so it would trail on the ground.

It was a beautiful pale purple, which Ava said complimented Garcia's fiery red hair perfectly. It was sleek and soft, but there were light yellow ruffles all over the dress, as that was the other wedding color. Purple and yellow as the wedding colors was a decision Garcia congratulated Ava on.

The third and fourth days were spent making sure relatives got in and everything was in order for the day of the wedding, such as nail and hair appointments and making sure the cater and flower people knew what time to bring everything.

The fifth and sixth days were used up rather quickly with Garcia sketching out what Ava wanted the chapel to look like, what she wanted the hall to look like and where she wanted all the flowers and table arrangements, and then Garcia gave the sketches to the people in charge of decorating everything on the big day.

And finally, that big day arrived, bright and early. Ava stayed the night in Garcia's hotel room because she loved all those wedding superstitions about not seeing your future husband/wife the night before the wedding and never before the bride walked down the aisle.

The hair and nail appointments went off without a hitch, and finally it came time for the girls to slip into their dresses. When all of them were finally pronounced ready after their makeup had been completed, they lined up to get ready to walk down the aisle. Each bridesmaid had been paired with a groomsman and each pair walked down the aisle before the flower girl and the ring bearer.

And then, the music changed and soared, and Ava appeared at the beginning of the aisle, looking like Cinderella in her beautiful wedding dress. Her father escorted her down the aisle and traditionally gave her hand to her future husband.

When the minister finally pronounced them husband and wife, Ava kissed her new husband enthusiastically and then he carried her down the aisle.

"I want my wedding to be like that," Garcia said with a happy smile, wiping a tear away. The bridesmaid, Lucy, smiled and nodded, saying,

"I completely agree."

They all walked back down the aisle and after the pictures were taken, it was time to party hearty at the reception hall. The decorations in the hall were impeccable and Ava nearly cried when she saw how beautiful it was.

When midnight came rolling around, Garcia's cell phone rang and she saw that it was Hotch calling her. "Hey boss-man," She said loudly and tried to find some privacy away from the blaring music.

"I take it you're at the wedding reception," He spoke equally as loud so she could hear him.

"Yeah, hang on, I'm trying to find somewhere the music isn't so loud," She called, eventually secreting herself in the closet where all the coats were. "I'm in the coat closet," Garcia said cheerfully, and Hotch chuckled.

"How's your vacation going?"

"Fantastic. One week left to go and all I'm going to do is go sightseeing and relax by the pool at my hotel," Garcia said with a grin.

"Good. I just wanted to make sure you're okay, and Jack all but demanded that he speak to you."

"It's, what, 8 o'clock there?"

"Try 6pm, Garcia," Hotch said amusedly and Garcia cursed the time zones again. "Here's Jack,"

"Hey there little man," Garcia said happily and Jack yelled,

"Auntie Penelope! When're you coming home?"

"In 7 days, darling, in one week."

"And then you'll come over for a movie night?"

"As long as it includes popcorn, then I am definitely coming over for a movie night."

"It will have popcorn," Jack solemnly promised, and then said, "Bye-bye Auntie Penelope. See you in 7 days!"

He handed the phone back to his dad who told him to go washed up for dinner before coming back on the line to Garcia. "Well, I suppose I'll see you in a week?"

"Yep. I'll call you when I'm getting ready to come over your house,"

"All right. Have fun, Penelope,"

"I will."

They disconnected with each other and then Garcia went back out to enjoy the fun for a few more hours, all the while thinking and hatching a plan to go see Emily after a few days of sightseeing. That night Garcia managed to pour herself into bed, having had too many drinks at the reception, but then, who hadn't?

When she woke up with the motherboard of all headaches, she took as much aspirin as she could and lazed around in bed until noon rolled around and she dragged herself out of bed to begin her sightseeing adventure.

She spent three glorious days in the country of Italy, visiting as many places as she could possibly fit in one day. Every night she called Morgan and talked to him for an hour about what she had done that day, and she emailed him all of her pictures every night too. On the fourth day, she was armed with the address she had managed to acquire on Emily AKA Celeste and she took the long way, double- and triple-checking for someone tailing her.

Eventually she parked down the street from Emily's little house and walked, pretending to be one of those tourists that take pictures of everything. She pretended to wander down the street and then passed Emily's house, walking to the end of the block and then doubling back, stopping in front of Emily's house and taking a picture of it, talking to herself about how beautifully quaint the house was.

"Look at this walkway! It must be hand-made," Garcia exclaimed as she appeared to mindlessly walk up the walkway leading to the front door. She went to knock on the front door when she could hear a man's voice coming from inside.

She listened intently and soon recognized the angry male voice as none other than Ian Doyle. Garcia literally saw red as she recalled how this was the man that nearly killed one of her best friends and then forced said best friend to fake her death and go into hiding. Slowly Garcia pushed the door open and crept along the hallway to the kitchen where Doyle and Emily were standing and arguing.

"I will not give you Declan!" Emily yelled, and Garcia peeked through the crack in the door, seeing Doyle pull a gun from his waist pocket.

"How about now?" Doyle asked, cocking the gun.

Garcia couldn't take it and she burst through the door, leaping on Doyle's back and locking her hands around his throat. They both fell to the ground and the gun went off. Emily tried to join the fray, attempting to pull Garcia off of Doyle and at the same time trying to subdue Doyle.

Doyle punched Garcia in the face and sent her reeling backwards, and then snatched his gun up, pointing it at both Emily and Garcia, switching from one to the other. He got to his feet, panting, and glared at Emily, who had her hands up in surrender.

As Doyle began to yell at Emily, Garcia almost imperceptibly began moving towards her ankle. "Hey!" Doyle yelled and pulled the trigger on his gun, the bullet piercing Garcia's arm and she screamed in pain. Emily flew at Doyle and Garcia managed to pull the little gun from her ankle holster, the one Morgan insisted she take to Italy with her. With shaking hands she aimed it at the fighting Doyle and Emily and yelled,

"Emily move!"

Emily rolled out of the way and Garcia pulled the trigger on her gun a few times, each bullet piercing Doyle's chest until he fell to the ground, unmistakably dead. Garcia's hands were shaking so badly that she dropped the gun, and that seemed to break the spell in the room.

"Oh my God, PG," Emily said in disbelief, stepping over to Garcia and hugging her tightly. Garcia hugged her back, tears streaming down her face as she cradled her arm. "I'll call an ambulance," Emily pulled her cell out and called for help while Garcia stared down at the man she had just killed.

**I bet you didn't see that one coming! Yes, Penelope Garcia has killed Doyle while fighting for both her life and the life of Emily Prentiss, who has come back from the 'dead'. And now that Doyle's dead, Emily's going to call the BAU and relate to them what has happened. I will admit now that I am a big Morgan/Garcia fan, and there will definitely be some moments for them in the next chapter. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you're enjoying this story so far!**


	4. You Better Shout Out Loud

**Chapter 4 has been posted! And now the BAU finds out what happened in Italy, and as you can imagine they hop on the jet as soon as possible. No, they don't actually get to Italy in this chapter, but they're all told the situation and about Emily actually being alive.**

**Enjoy!**

Emily checked the time and figured that it was nearing the end of the day at the BAU. It was around midnight in Italy, so it was around 6pm in D.C. and Emily dialed another number on her cell phone. When a woman's voice answered, she said, "JJ, it's me."

"What? Why are you calling me?"

"Because Doyle's dead."

There was a silence, and then JJ said quietly, "How do you know?"

"Because he's lying on my living room floor with three bullet holes in his chest."

"Did you…?"

"No."

"Then…who?"

"You're going to want to send at least two agents over here, JJ," Emily said heavily, and JJ repeated,

"Who killed Doyle?"

"Penelope Garcia."

There was an even longer silence this time. "Penelope killed Doyle?"

"Yes. The Italian police are on their way, so is an ambulance. PG got shot in the fight."

"I'll tell Hotch. It'll either be me and Morgan, Hotch and Morgan or all three of us. I know Morgan won't stand for not going. Actually it'll probably be the entire team, I can't imagine any of them would stand being left behind,"

"Yeah, and Morgan'll go even if you tell him not too. And it's probably a good idea that he comes. PG just keeps staring at Doyle, and I'm scared to see what this will do to her."

"Me too," JJ said quietly, and then hung up. She got up with a sigh and headed into Hotch's office.

"What's up?" Hotch questioned, and JJ sat down.

"Doyle's dead. Emily just called me."

"Really? He found her? She killed him?" Hotch asked, setting his pen down. JJ sighed again and replied,

"Yes, he's really dead, yes he found her but no she didn't kill him."

"Then who did?" Hotch was confused, and JJ said,

"Garcia killed him."

"What?"

"Garcia killed Doyle," JJ repeated, and Hotch sat back in his chair, completely nonplussed.

"Garcia?"

"Yes. Remember our computer tech? Penelope Garcia?" JJ said sarcastically, and Hotch rolled his eyes as he stood up.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. Emily called me and said that Doyle is dead on her living room floor with three bullet holes in his chest. She said I needed to get over here with either you or Morgan or all three of us, and she said the Italian police are on their way, along with an ambulance. Garcia got shot in the fight."

"I'll call for the jet, and then we'll go down and tell the team." Hotch said, picking his phone up and dialing. JJ nodded and stepped out, heading down the stairs. She walked over and perched on the edge of Reid's desk.

"What's up?" He asked her, and she sighed.

"Nothing good,"

"Have you heard from Garcia, JJ? She didn't call me last night," Morgan asked worriedly, and JJ bit her lip.

"What? What is it?" Morgan asked, standing up. Hotch came down the stairs and said,

"You're all going to have to listen to us for a few minutes. Don't say anything, just listen," Everyone nodded and Hotch nodded to JJ.

"Emily Prentiss is alive." Reid, Morgan and Rossi started to say something but Hotch held up his hands, continuing,

"She's living in Italy under an assumed name, and I don't know how but Garcia found her. That's why she went to Italy, for her friend's wedding and to find Emily. About an hour ago Garcia went into Emily's house and I don't have all the details, but she ended up being shot and Doyle was killed."

"Doyle's dead?" Rossi said, and Reid exclaimed,

"Emily's alive?"

"Penelope's shot?" Morgan demanded, and JJ nodded.

"The jet is being fueled as we speak and I've cleared it with Strauss. I assume all of you want to go?" Hotch asked, and everyone nodded. "We'll call Emily and get some more information on the way to Italy. Go home, get your passports and pack a bag. Wheels are up in an hour."

Hotch headed up to his office, and Reid immediately grabbed his keys and walked out. JJ went to follow him but Morgan shook his head and followed the young genius. He caught up to him in the elevator and said quietly, "You can't blame JJ and Hotch for this, Reid."

"Why not? They kept it from us, Morgan, they kept Emily from us!" Reid burst out, and Morgan faced him, saying seriously,

"At least we have her back, Reid! Think about it: would you rather Emily really be dead or would you rather have her back?"

"I'd rather have her back, of course, but they lied to us Morgan! I went to JJ's house for months, crying my eyes out and not once did she say a word!"

"She couldn't, Reid! Don't you see? Emily would have died for real if she hadn't faked her death! Even I know that without Hotch or JJ having to say it!"

"We could've protected her! We could've found Doyle on our own!" Reid rambled, and Morgan placed his hands firmly on Reid's shoulders.

"It's been months since we thought Emily died, Reid, and we didn't find Doyle. Emily knew that. Doyle is good, Reid, and if Emily had really died while we were hunting him down, then how would you feel?"

"Just as bad as I've felt these past few months!" Reid yelled, and Morgan raised his eyebrows. "Okay, maybe I'd feel worse, but-"

"No buts. We're going to go to Italy and bring Emily home, back to us. That's it, that's the bottom line. You can talk to JJ and Hotch and work out whatever issues you have with them, but you need to snap out of it. Emily is coming home, that's all that matters."

Reid took a few deep breaths as the elevator doors opened and the two men walked out to the parking lot together. "I understand, Morgan, but I just can't help feeling so, so betrayed,"

"I know, kid, I know. But it's over. Emily killed Doyle, and she can come home."

"Yeah…yeah you're right," Reid admitted and they got in their separate cars and went their separate ways.

Rossi got to his feet when Morgan and Reid left and rubbed his forehead. "Wait, did Emily kill Doyle?" He asked, and Hotch shook his head.

"Garcia did."

"…oh my God…" Rossi breathed, and he glanced down towards the hallway that leads to Garcia's lair. "I never wanted Garcia to have to go through something like this," He glanced at Hotch and asked quietly, "Is she strong enough for this? For the reality of taking someone's life? Whether it's justified or not,"

"She's strong, but she's going to need us, whether she knows it or not," Hotch sighed, and then the two men walked out, followed by JJ.

An hour later, the BAU met on the jet and they headed towards Italy. JJ pulled her cell out and called Emily, putting her on speakerphone. "Emily, it's JJ. What's going on?"

"The Italian police are at my house and they're investigating. I'm at the hospital with Garcia."

"How is she?"

"It was just a graze in her arm, they're giving her antibiotics in case of an infection and they're fixing her with a sling. She should be released by the time you guys get here."

"We just left D.C. so it'll be a few hours at the least," Hotch said, and Emily replied,

"Okay. We'll be here. Call me when you land and I'll come get you guys."

"No, we'll get a taxi or rent a car. Just one car is not going to work for us, we're bringing everyone."

"Oh, all right. Call me when you get in and I'll tell you where we are."

"Sounds good. How is Garcia, emotionally?" Hotch asked, and Emily sighed.

"She's still in shock. I don't think it's processed fully yet,"

"Thanks, Emily." JJ hung up and Morgan commented,

"She's not the first one to get shot and go through shock," JJ, Hotch and Rossi exchanged glances and looked at Morgan. "What?"

"Do you know who killed Doyle?" JJ asked hesitantly, and Morgan's brows furrowed as he replied,

"Yeah, Emily did,"

"No, Morgan," Hotch said, shaking his head. "Garcia killed Doyle."

"Wait, what?" Morgan was confused. "Penelope killed Doyle?"

"Yes," Rossi said, and Morgan grabbed his phone, dialing Emily.

"What, Morgan?" Emily asked, and Morgan demanded,

"Tell me what happened."

"I was sitting at home when Doyle came bursting through the front door. He had me at gunpoint and I wouldn't tell him where Declan was. Then Garcia rushed through the door and attacked Doyle. I tried to help but Doyle got the best of Garcia and pointed his gun at me. Garcia went for the gun in her ankle holster and Doyle shot her in the arm. I attacked Doyle and then Garcia yelled at me to move, and when I rolled away she shot Doyle three times in the chest."

Morgan was silent for a long moment and then said quietly, "What is this going to do to her?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know." Emily said, and hung up. Morgan closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

"Why didn't I go with her?" He asked himself, getting to his feet and storming towards the back of the plane, kicking a chair as he went.

**I know I promised you some Morgan/Garcia scenes, but they're going to happen in the next chapter, I promise, when the BAU gets to Italy and finds Garcia. She really is a wreck, especially when she finds out how Doyle found Emily. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you like this story so far!**


	5. Raise Your Hands

**Chapter 5 is up, and it's time for Morgan to be the knight in shining armor and lead the charge to get to Garcia. As you can imagine, she's pretty broken after taking a life. Yes it was justified, but she took a life and that is something she has to deal with. You'll also find out how Doyle got to Emily…**

**Enjoy!**

No one could calm Morgan down, and he was the first to stride off of the plane and hop into one of the two rental cars that the BAU had. Hotch drove the other one, but Morgan's car, with Reid and JJ, beat Hotch's car, with Rossi, to the hotel that Emily had said she was taking Garcia to.

Morgan led the 'charge' up to Emily's room while Hotch stopped at the front desk to rent out a few rooms. Strauss had given him clearance to rent the cars and get hotel rooms, basically she told him to do whatever he had to do. She was well aware that killing someone would be devastating to Penelope Garcia.

When the team reached Emily's room, Morgan could hear Garcia sobbing. He uttered an oath under his breath and banged on the door. Emily opened it and Morgan burst into the room, seeing an Italian detective seated across from Garcia.

"Derek?" Garcia said in shock, and he opened his arms. She gratefully fell into them, clutching his shirt. Rossi headed over to the detective and showed him his badge.

"We're Miss Garcia's coworkers," Rossi explained to the English-speaking detective.

"Ah, FBI?" At Rossi's nod, the man continued, saying, "No one is charging Miss Garcia with anything, Agent Rossi. No crime was committed here, and the surveillance in the house proves this. She is a computer tech, is she not?"

"She's our technical analyst," Emily spoke up, and the detective nodded.

"Then she is not accustomed to taking a life to save her own. She is strong, she will be okay," The detective said convincingly, and he shook their hands before walking out.

Neither Morgan nor Garcia said anything as he just held her tightly and stroked her hair. Slowly her sobs subsided, and she looked up to see Hotch standing across from her. She carefully pulled herself from Morgan's arms and stepped over to Hotch.

"I'm sorry, Hotch. I know I lied to you and I know that I deserve to be fired, and I won't blame you if you do fire me, but I really did go to a friend's wedding. I just took a detour afterward." Her voice was quiet, and Hotch shook his head. He reached out and gently made her look at him.

"I'm not firing you, Penelope, no one is firing you."

Garcia took a deep breath, and then felt her anger start to flow back into her veins. She remembered the whole reason that she had come to Italy, and that was because her boss and her best friend had lied to everyone. Obviously they all knew now, but she held onto the anger because it was either that or curl up into a ball and let the misery and shock have her.

"In that case, then how dare you?" She hissed, her hands balling into fists. Somehow she resisted the urge to slap him, knowing that probably would be a firing offense. "I don't know why I didn't do it sooner, but I was really missing Emily one night and I started digging. The people that hid Emily really aren't that competent, because I found her pretty quickly. Don't even start," She suddenly said, seeing his mouth open. "I covered my tracks. I knew Doyle was watching me, and I made him think I was surfing for new online games to play. When I found Emily's bank account and then found her new ID, I knew that she was alive. I also knew that she had faked her death, and the only way that she could've done that was if you and JJ were in on it."

"They had no choice, PG," Emily said gently, and Garcia shook her head.

"They had a choice. They could've let the team do what they do best, and save her! We could have found Doyle and protected you at the same time!"

"This was for the best," Hotch began, but Reid jumped in with,

"Doyle found her anyways,"

"I don't know how," JJ said, shaking her head.

"When I found out that Emily was alive, I responded to my friend's email and told her that I'd be coming in for the wedding. I went to the wedding and did some sightseeing, and then I made my way to Emily's house. Doyle had beaten me there, but I don't know how. I covered my tracks, if anyone was watching me online I had a sort of shield up that showed them that I was searching for the wedding chapel in Italy and then places around it to sightsee. Oh God," She suddenly whispered, her face going deathly white.

"Garcia…?" Hotch said, stepping forward and holding her arm in concern.

"Maybe I led him to Emily. I thought I covered my tracks, I thought I was safe, but maybe…"

"No, PG, it's not your fault, if you found me then Doyle must've been able to,"

"I am a damn good hacker, that piece of garbage is trash," Garcia snapped, and then strode over to her laptop, opening it and turning it on. She flipped through all of her history so fast that it nearly made everyone dizzy.

Then she changed tactics and hacked into Doyle's system, scouring his history and files. Eventually she just froze, her eyes grew wide and glassy and her jaw dropped. "Oh God…it's my fault. It's all my fault," She whispered, and then bolted to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it. Morgan pounded on the door as he heard her vomiting painfully into the toilet.

"Garcia! PENELOPE! For God's sake open the damn door!" Morgan yelled, and Reid slid into the seat Garcia had vacated, looking at what Garcia had been looking at.

"He already knew you were in Italy, Emily. When he saw Garcia digging around for stuff to do in Italy, he waited for the proper moment and then hacked her search, seeing your Italian driver's license. It only took him one try, that's why she never caught onto him," Reid said quietly, and Emily went over to the bathroom door.

"PG, none of this is your fault. I don't blame you," She said, knocking gently.

"You should," Garcia moaned miserably, and Morgan tried again.

"Come on, baby girl, open the door,"

"Just leave me alone," Garcia spat, and it was clear she was crying.

"Please, sweetheart, you don't have to go through this alone, let me help you," Morgan pleaded, and there was silence inside the room. "You've been there for me countless times, Penelope, let me do the same for you," He begged, and then the lock clicked.

Morgan immediately stepped inside and at Garcia's insistence he shut the door behind him. Garcia had just finished washing her mouth out and Morgan just went over to her and wrapped his arms around her shivering frame. "I love you," He sighed, and felt her arms encircle his body.

"I love you too," She sobbed, and he just held her tightly for a long time, stroking her hair and her back and her arms, anything to let her know that she wasn't alone.

"Let's go home, baby," He whispered, pulling back until his forehead rested on hers. His heart broke seeing her red-rimmed, tortured and hollowed eyes.

"Okay," She murmured, and he wiped her eyes. "Let me just…clean up or something," Garcia muttered and turned towards the sink, wetting a cloth and wiping her face. Morgan watched her for a moment and then gently took the cloth from her and carefully wiped her face. "Thanks," She said quietly.

"Anytime," He said with a half-smile, and then together they walked out of the bathroom. At Morgan's sharp look, no one crowded Garcia or insistently asked her if she was okay.

"Ready to go home?" Rossi asked, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. She attempted a smile at him and nodded.

"The jet's being refueled as we speak, how about we go grab a bite to eat and then board?" Hotch suggested, and Garcia's face turned a little green at the thought of eating something.

"You guys go ahead, I think I'll just go wait at the airport," Garcia said, and Morgan immediately said,

"I'll go with you," And then his stomach grumbled.

"It's okay, Derek, I'll be fine,"

"No you won't," He started to argue, and then Hotch spoke up.

"I'll take you to the airport, Penelope, I'm not particularly hungry. I snacked on the plane," Garcia didn't have the strength to argue, so she just shrugged.

Emily and JJ simply enfolded Garcia in a three-way hug for a long moment and then they left with Rossi and Morgan to get a bite to eat. Hotch led Garcia downstairs to his car and kept his hand on the small of her back. In the car ride, Hotch glanced over at her a few times and frowned when he saw her staring into space, listless and depressed.

**So to say that Garcia is pretty broken at this point would be an understatement. The next chapter will have them returning to the US and Garcia still struggling to come to terms and deal with the horrible truth that she took a life. The BAU is helping her along the way, but it's still a struggle. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you like this story so far!**


	6. Above This Crowd

**Chapter 6 is up! Now the team prepares to leave to go back home, but before they leave Garcia's going to have a bit of a shock, and Hotch will be there for her. Not romantically or anything, just friendship. And on the plane there will be a fair amount of Morgan/Garcia, and a lot more when they finally get back to America.**

**Enjoy!**

"Did I tell you what Jack did last week?" Hotch queried, and Garcia turned her head to look at him, shaking her head. For the rest of the ride he entertained her with Jack's latest idea of taking ketchup and mustard and making a pretty rainbow out of it on the kitchen counter.

When he pulled up to the airport and turned the car back into the rental agency, Garcia still had a smile on her face. "I bet you had a lot of fun cleaning that up,"

"Oh absolutely," Hotch said dryly, and Garcia chuckled as they walked into the Italian airport together. It took them a while, but eventually they got through security and into the food court area. Garcia caught Hotch eyeing a Subway and she sent him to get a sandwich while she sat down by the gate where their jet would be leaving from.

She closed her eyes and massaged her temples, feeling a major headache coming on from puking and crying her eyes out. When she opened her eyes everyone walking around her had Doyle's face, some covered with blood and some glaring at her, all of them chanting 'You let me get to Emily, you killed me, it's all your fault'.

Hotch had his Subway bag and was walking towards Garcia when he saw that she was complexly frozen, her face was paper white and her eyes were wide and glassy. "Penelope?" He said urgently, crouching in front of her and grabbing onto her arms. "Penelope say something,"

"He…he's everywhere," She whispered, and then shook herself and blinked a few times. Finally she focused on Hotch and tried a smile, which came out more like a grimace. "Sorry, I guess I zoned out there,"

"What did you see?" He asked, getting up and sitting next to her on the bench.

"It's nothing, really, not a big deal," She lied, and Hotch just raised his eyebrows. "Okay so I saw everyone here with Doyle's face, glaring at me,"

He knew she was leaving something out, but he just wrapped his arm around her shoulders and as she leaned her head on his shoulder he kissed the top of her head. "It'll be okay, Penelope," He said quietly, feeling her body shaking.

After a while she stopped shaking and slowly sat up, saying, "I'm sorry, I kept you away from your dinner,"

Hotch just shrugged and unwrapped it, offering half of it to Garcia. She shook her head violently, saying, "My stomach can't handle anything right now,"

Hotch didn't push the issue. He ate his sub and was just finishing when the rest of the team started walking towards them. Unsurprisingly Morgan was the first to reach Garcia, gently touching her face. "You look pale," He said quietly, and she shrugged.

"I'm fine, Derek, really,"

"Like hell," He muttered, but allowed JJ and Emily to loop their arms through hers and start marching off towards the gate, singing 'We're off to See the Wizard' from the Wizard of Oz.

"Is she okay?" Reid asked Hotch, who replied,

"She said she zoned off and imagined that everyone walking around had Doyle's face, but other than that she hasn't said much,"

"This is killing her," Morgan said quietly, his fists clenched. "I want to kill the bastard again for still haunting our team,"

"I would've rather had anyone else kill Doyle, except Garcia," Rossi admitted as the four men started walking towards the gate.

"Me too," Hotch said with a heavy sigh. They all boarded the jet and found Garcia sitting in the far corner, her arms wrapped around herself and she was staring out the window. Morgan quickly took the seat next to her and when she glanced over at him, he just smiled at her.

"Hey," He said, and she half-smiled.

"Hey back,"

She turned her attention to something outside the window and Morgan left her alone until the plane was in the air. He lifted the seat divider and gently eased her back until she was resting on his shoulder. She glanced up at him and he just wrapped his arms around her. Garcia reached up and linked her hands with his, and slowly she drifted off to sleep.

They were about halfway home when Garcia started to twist and turn in her sleep. "My fault, my fault," She moaned quietly, and Morgan, who had been dozing, immediately was alert. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," She whispered, and then went still. Moments later she bolted upright with a scream.

"Hey, hey, Garcia, it's okay," Morgan said soothingly, grabbing onto her and pulling her back into his arms. "You're okay, you're all right," He chanted, rocking her back and forth while she cried.

"I'm sorry, you were probably sleeping," She muttered, burying her face in his chest.

"No, baby girl, don't be sorry, there's nothing to be sorry for," Morgan replied, gently stroking her hair. Slowly she went back to sleep, and this time slept dreamlessly.

The jet landed at the airport, and Garcia jerked awake as the pilot called for them to put their seatbelts back on. She sat up straight and did so, waiting for the plane to land. Once it had she got up and turned to Morgan. "Can you…can you take me home? I didn't leave my car in long-term parking,"

"I dropped you off, I know," He said with a smile, gently touching her face and saying, "Of course I'll take you home, baby girl, that's a given,"

"Okay," She said, twitching a half-smile that looked more like a grimace.

The BAU team trooped out onto the airport, and started towards their cars they always left in long-term parking. Garcia climbed in Morgan's car and as Morgan loaded her suitcases into the back, he saw everyone else looking at her in concern. "She's living in her personal hell," Morgan muttered, and Hotch nodded.

"I wish…I wish there was something I could do, something I could say," JJ said desperately, hating what her best friend was going through.

"It's gonna take time," Rossi reminded them, and Emily sighed.

"I know, but this is killing her."

"If you're not planning on staying with her tonight…" Hotch started to say, but Morgan shook his head.

"I'm not stupid, Hotch, I'm not going anywhere, whether Penelope likes it or not,"

"Good. But me and Emily are taking over tomorrow night," JJ said firmly, and Emily nodded.

The BAU went their separate ways, and Morgan drove Garcia to her apartment. He helped her with her suitcases and when she turned to thank him, she found she couldn't really speak so she just wrapped her arms around his neck. "It's okay, baby girl, you can let go."

"I…no, I'm fine," She said, drawing back and wiping furiously at her tears. He caught her hands and said quietly,

"Crying isn't something to be ashamed of. I'll catch you no matter what, Penelope, I promise," Garcia just looked at him for a long moment and then she broke down and fell into his arms. True to his word he caught her, and held her tightly, rocking her and whispering comforting words to her as she sobbed her heart out in his arms.

She fell asleep in Morgan's arms that night, and he carried her into bed, tucking her in and bunking down on the sofa. A soft cry in the middle of the night woke up him and he sat bolt upright, his hand automatically going for his gun.

"Emily move!" She screamed, and Morgan immediately leapt over to her bed. Garcia was tossing and turning, sweat rolling off of her entire body and the covers were so tangled around her Morgan couldn't get her loose, no matter how hard he pulled. "I…I killed him…I led him to her…I…it's all my fault!" Garcia gasped, and Morgan grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Penelope, baby, wake up, c'mon sweetheart, wake up, it's just a dream," He chanted over and over, and finally her eyes flew open and she sat up, her chest heaving as if she'd been running a marathon.

"Just a dream?" She whimpered, and Morgan pulled her into his arms, kissing her temple.

"Yes, baby, just a dream, it can't hurt you, he can't hurt you ever again," Morgan whispered, and slowly he felt her arms go around him.

"Please…please don't leave me…" Garcia whispered, and Morgan stroked her hair.

"I'm not going anywhere,"

"You promise?" She asked, and he held her tightly.

"I promise,"

When she finally fell asleep again, she drifted off into a dreamless sleep that both she and Morgan were grateful for.

**Yes, Garcia is very tortured by the fact that she took a life. I kinda took my inspiration from that one episode that Garcia travels with the team to Alaska, and she tells Morgan that she's afraid of losing who she is, and she doesn't want to do that just to do the job. So that's how this story was born. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you like this story so far!**


	7. I Will Reach You

**Welcome to chapter 7, AKA the second to last chapter. Yes, this story is almost to a close, but first Garcia has to go see the shrink in order to return to her job, if they let her come back at all. And definitely more Morgan/Garcia ahead.**

**Enjoy!**

Garcia slept soundly through the next day, and when she finally woke up, Morgan had cooked some spaghetti and meatballs for them to eat for dinner. When she went to take a shower, Morgan called JJ.

"Hey, Derek, how is she?"

"Not good. I know you and Emily said you wanted to spend the night with her tonight, but…do you mind waiting a few days?" Morgan asked, rubbing his face with his free hand.

"No, of course not. Just make sure you take care of her," JJ said, and Morgan nodded.

"I will. She had a nightmare last night, but she slept dreamlessly when I was holding her. If that's the solution to her bad dreams, I'll hold her every night," Morgan said firmly, and then Emily took the phone.

"Maybe that's what she needs. When she's up to visitors, Hotch said he needs to see her, it's kind of urgent he said,"

"All right. I'll call him, maybe tomorrow if she's okay with it,"

"I'll tell Hotch. Make sure she knows she's not alone, Derek, that's all you can really do,"

"I know. I just wish there was more I can do," Morgan murmured, and then hung up. Garcia came out moments later and was toweling her hair dry.

"Derek, can I ask a big favor of you?" She said in a small voice, and Morgan nodded.

"Anything,"

"Can you…would you stay with me tonight, like sleep in my bed with me? Please? I, maybe I'm crazy but I felt safer with you there, and I didn't have any nightmares,"

He smiled and gently touched her cheek, saying, "There is no place I'd rather be," Then he got a little flustered and said, "I mean, well you know what I mean,"

Garcia laughed and said, "Yes, Derek, I know what you mean,"

"Good. Now, you tired or do you wanna watch a movie or something?"

"I'm kinda tired," She admitted, and Morgan nodded as she climbed into bed and he followed. It wasn't awkward at all as they laid down together and Morgan wrapped his arms around Garcia like he'd done it hundreds of times before.

Garcia woke up the next morning, feeling really refreshed from having slept through the night dreamlessly, and she glanced at Morgan's sleeping face. She smiled softly before slipping out of bed and picking her phone up. She saw that she had a few missed calls from both JJ and Emily, but she had a voicemail message from Hotch.

"Garcia, when you feeling better please give me a call," He requested in the message, and Garcia hit redial.

"Hotchner," Hotch answered, and Garcia said,

"Penelope Garcia, sir, returning your call,"

"Oh, Garcia, how are you?"

"I'm fine," She said quietly, and Hotch was silent for a moment.

"Strauss wants you to come in today, not to work but to…"

"See the shrink," Garcia finished his sentence, and Hotch sighed.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Penelope,"

"No, it's not your fault. I'll see you in a little while," She said, and hung up.

"Who was that?" Morgan asked from her bed, sitting up and stretching.

"Hotch. I gotta go in and see the shrink,"

"Today? Seriously?" Morgan said angrily, getting up. Garcia shrugged and said,

"I'd rather get it over with,"

Morgan looked at her for a long moment and then nodded, getting up and heading to take a shower. An hour later, he and Garcia had eaten and were heading to the BAU to meet with Strauss and the shrink. Before they walked in, Morgan took her hand. "If you feel uncomfortable or anything, just yell for me okay? I'll be standing right outside,"

"They won't let you in," She said, shaking her head.

"They couldn't keep me out," He contradicted, and she hugged him.

"Thank you, Derek,"

"You're welcome," He replied, kissing her forehead as they walked into the BAU. JJ and Emily saw them walk out of the elevator and they hurried over to her, wrapping Garcia in a three-way hug.

"The next chance we get, we're taking you out and getting you drunk," Emily declared, and Garcia laughed, saying,

"No wine, please, my head can't take that again,"

"We'll steer clear of the wine, but anything else is fair game," JJ promised, and Garcia laughed again. She saw Reid standing back, clearly hesitant to approach her with the two girls and Morgan surrounding her. Garcia stepped away and wrapped her arms around the genius.

"Hey Reid," She said with a smile, drawing back and squeezing his hands.

"Hey Garcia. You…you okay?"

"Getting there," She said, and then saw Rossi and Hotch standing off with Strauss. Garcia set her jaw and walked over to them. Rossi put his arm around her shoulders and asked quietly,

"Are you sure you're up to this? You can always do it later,"

"No, I want to get it over with," Garcia said determinedly, and Hotch turned to Strauss.

"Where is Dr. Palmer at?"

"She's in my office," Strauss said, and Garcia followed her up to her office. She glanced back at her team and they all smiled at her. She smiled back before stepping into the office and taking a deep breath when Strauss shut the door, leaving her in the room with a woman sitting in Strauss's chair.

"Hello Penelope, I'm Dr. Maria Palmer," The woman said, reaching her hand out. Garcia shook it and said nervously,

"Hi Dr. Palmer,"

"Please, call me Maria," She said, and Garcia nodded as she slowly sat down across from her. "Let's start with what happened. Can you tell me what happened, starting with how you found out Emily was alive," She said kindly, and Garcia launched into the story. When she finished, Maria nodded slowly and took some notes. "How did you feel when you found out Emily was alive?"

"Betrayed. Angry. Disbelief." Garcia said quietly, and Maria added,

"You felt guilty too, didn't you?" When Garcia was silent, Maria went on, saying, "You thought that if you had found that information out sooner, Emily could've been home sooner, am I right?"

"Maybe," Garcia whispered.

"All right. Now tell me how you felt when you killed Doyle."

"I…I couldn't believe what I had just done. I felt dirty, like I had committed a great sin, which I had. I stared at him, knowing how much I hated him, and I hated myself more for taking his life."

"Did it occur to you that if he had lived, he would still be going after Emily, going after Declan, he might even be going after the entire team. You saved their lives,"

"But how does that justify his death? I'm not Hitler, I don't sacrifice people for the greater good!" Garcia said in anguish, and Maria nodded.

"I know you don't. You did take a life, and as regrettable as that is, you didn't take his life out of spite or out of anger or out of jealousy. You took his life as your last attempt to save your friend. In that situation, you had no other option."

"I know that, but he wouldn't have even been there if it wasn't for me!"

"Ah yes, he hacked into your search and found out Emily's address,"

"Exactly!"

"Emily doesn't blame you for that,"

"But she should!"

"Why should she? She's home with her friends and family, and the man who tried to kill her is dead. The only person blaming you is you, Penelope,"

"Because everyone else is too nice to blame me! I deserve some kind of punishment, something for what I've done,"

"What kind of punishment do you think you need?"

"I don't know!" Garcia burst out, and Maria said quietly,

"You're going through hell right now, Penelope, I think that's punishment enough. You're berating yourself and beating yourself up. In my mind, that's plenty of punishment."

"But…" Garcia stammered, and realized that Maria was speaking the truth. If it hadn't been for Morgan, she wouldn't have gotten any sleep and she wouldn't have eaten much of anything. Without the team, she probably would've ended up killing herself over lack of sleep and lack of nutrition. She was beating herself up, majorly, but that probably wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

"Do you know what I think, Penelope?"

"No, you're the shrink remember?" Garcia said listlessly, and Maria half-smiled.

"I think that you need a vacation, away from all of this. You need time to heal and forgive yourself, and then you can come back to the BAU."

"So you're not getting me fired or put on leave or anything?" Garcia asked, hope blossoming in her voice. Maria knew that she'd feared herself too damaged to continue working for her beloved team, but she thought differently.

"Your love for your team is going to save you and your sanity, Penelope, and it would be wrong to keep you away from that love for too long. However, you do need to get away for a week. Not out of the country, but to a nice hotel, a wonderful spa, just something relaxing."

"That actually sounds good," Garcia admitted, and Maria smiled.

"And if I may, I suggest taking that Agent Morgan with you,"

Garcia blushed and then looked at her. "So are we done here?"

"Not quite. Just a few more questions," Maria said, glancing down at her notepad.

Garcia groaned, but waited for the doctor to begin speaking again.

**So Garcia can return to her beloved team, but first she has to take a vacation with Morgan. Such a punishment, right? The next chapter (the last chapter) will have the shrink asking one final, complicated question, and it might help Garcia to finally start to forgive herself. Thank you so much for sticking with this story and I hope you like it!**


	8. Can You Hear Me Now?

**Chapter 8 has been posted, and that means the last chapter has been posted! Now Garcia finishes her session with the shrink, and you'll see if she can start the healing process or not. And I'll give you a hint: the story ends with Morgan/Garcia either in a relationship or completely stuck in the friend zone.**

**Enjoy!**

"I know you need time to come to terms with the fact that you took a life, but if you let your friends out there help you, it'll get easier," Maria told her gently, and Garcia dropped her head into her hands.

"I just, I can't believe I did that. Before I started this job I would have never even put a gun in my hands,"

"It comes down to this, Penelope: would you yourself rather be dead, or would you rather Doyle was dead?"

"How can you ask me that?" Garcia demanded, and Maria said evenly,

"Answer this question and you can go,"

"Will I have to come back?"

"No. As I said, your only issue is that you took a life. And that will grow easier on your conscience with time. Please, answer the question,"

Garcia thought about it for a long time, and debated the two answers in her head to come up with the truthful one. "I…I would rather…I would rather Doyle was dead," Garcia whispered, voicing her biggest fear: that she actually wished another person dead instead of her. She lurched to her feet and out the door. She froze for a moment, deciding whether to run to Morgan or the elevator, and she made her decision.

She hurried down the stairs and Morgan had his arms wrapped around her before she could take another breath. "It's okay, baby girl, I've got you, and I'm never letting go," He swore, stroking her head. JJ and Emily hurried upstairs and demanded to know what Dr. Palmer had said to her that made her so upset.

"Penelope needs to come to terms with taking another person's life, and deep down, not regretting it. That's what's bothering her the most," Dr. Palmer told them, and then she went to talk to Strauss.

Morgan glanced over at Hotch, and Hotch said, "Take her home, Derek, and take care of her,"

"I will," Morgan said with a nod, and he gently led her over to the elevators.

"Tell JJ and Emily that we'll get drunk tomorrow night," Garcia said to Reid before she stepped in the elevator and Morgan took her back to her apartment.

Garcia went over and stood by her window, clearly deep in thought. Morgan slowly walked over to her and set his hands on her shoulders. "Did she help? The shrink?"

"She made me realize something…" Garcia said slowly, and then turned around in Morgan's arms.

"What's that?"

"That I took a life, and there is no justification for that. But…I'm glad it wasn't me," She whispered, and Morgan wrapped his arms around her.

"So am I, baby girl. If he had killed you, I…I don't know what I would've done," Morgan admitted quietly, and Garcia squeezed his hands.

"She told me that the fact that I took a life would get easier with time,"

"It will. I still remember the first person I killed on the job, but it doesn't hurt anymore,"

"The first?" Garcia sounded horrified at the thought that she might have another life on her conscience.

"Oh, no baby, I won't let that happen to you again," Morgan said hastily, gently wiping her tears away. "You want some lunch?" He questioned, and then his stomach rumbled. "Clearly I do," Morgan added with a grin.

She smiled and shook her head, saying, "I'm not very hungry, Derek, but you go ahead,"

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Garcia said with a nod, and Morgan kissed her forehead before grabbing his coat and heading out to pick up some fast food for lunch. While he was gone, Garcia roamed around her apartment before falling into bed and grabbing one of her pillows, hugging it tightly. She could smell Derek on the pillow and she closed her eyes. "Why does everything have to be so confusing?" She whispered to herself.

On top of feeling guilty and regretful at taking Doyle's life, she also blamed herself for the way he found Emily, and she felt angry at herself about everything. And now she was confused about Derek Morgan. She loved him as a friend…so she thought. Now she wasn't so sure. If she wasn't mistaken, she was falling in love with him, and she couldn't let that happen. She couldn't ruin what she had with Morgan just because of her confused feelings.

Morgan was driving back to Garcia's apartment and he began brooding. Thinking of Garcia brought a smile to his face, and he knew that he loved her as a friend, but now…now he felt a little more than that. He was falling in love with her, and he could only hope that she felt the same way. Morgan parked his car and looked up at her apartment window. He didn't want to ruin what they already had, but he had to tell her how he felt. Maybe not now, but later.

When Morgan stepped into her apartment, he saw her asleep on the bed, one of her pillows wrapped in her arms. Morgan smiled softly and lifted the glasses off of her face, smoothing her hair and whispering, "I love you,"

Garcia woke up later in the day and Morgan called, "Get your butt up and get dressed, baby girl,"

"Why?" She called back, and he poked his head out of the bathroom.

"Because I'm taking you out tonight. We're going the whole nine yards,"

"Derek…" She started to say, but he shook his head.

"Nuh uh, no arguing. I'm almost done in here, then you can shower and get ready." He went back in the bathroom and Garcia smiled as she went to her closet to find something appropriately dressy to wear.

An hour and a half later, Garcia was putting the finishing touches on her hair and makeup. When she stepped out of the bathroom, she saw Morgan standing by the door in a nice suit and she stopped in her tracks. He looked at her and gave a low wolf-whistle.

"You look gorgeous baby girl,"

"And I don't even have my heels on yet," She teased, and went to put her heels on. Then she met Morgan at the door and took his arm. "You look rather dashing yourself," She said with a wink, and he laughed as they went down to his car, and he drove to a fancy Italian restaurant.

They were seated by a window, and Morgan reached over the table to take her hand. "You okay Penelope?"

"Yeah. This is a good thing, getting back out in society," Garcia said, glancing around. She sighed in relief when everyone's face didn't morph into Doyle's like they had at the airport.

"I'm glad," Morgan said quietly as the waiter came to take their orders. While waiting for their food, they made small talk and Morgan made Garcia laugh by telling her the crazy things that happened at the BAU while she was in Italy. He then bashed her replacement, which made her smile.

After their food came, they ate half of it and then swapped plates like they always did. The waiter gave them a funny look, which only served to make both of them laugh.

After dinner, Morgan paid the bill and they walked outside to the car. Garcia had a hold of Morgan's arm and she looked at him. "Thank you, Derek, that was a lot of fun,"

"Yeah it was," Morgan said with a smile, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. When they got to the car, Garcia went to get in the passenger side but she slipped and ended up with her back against the car, and Morgan's arms around her to keep her from falling down.

"Derek…" She whispered, their faces within a few inches of each other. Morgan closed the distance and gently captured her lips in his, kissing her softly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. When they broke the kiss for lack of air, Morgan cleared his throat.

"We should go,"

Garcia nodded, climbing into the car and waiting for Morgan to climb in the driver's seat. "Derek I'm sorry,"

"You're sorry?"

"Yes, the last thing I want to do is ruin our friendship," She started to say, but Morgan put his finger to her lips.

"I love you, Penelope,"

She was shocked, and then tears filled her eyes. "I love you too. And I changed my mind, I'm not sorry anymore,"

"Good," He said with a smile, and drove back to her apartment. When they got inside, Morgan pressed his lips against Garcia's, murmuring, "You believe that everything happens for a reason, right?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because maybe everything that happened in Italy happened to serve as a slap in the face for us, a wakeup call,"

"That's something I can believe," Garcia said, pulling him closer as they fell onto the bed. "But I doubt those nightmares will be going away anytime soon,"

"I'm not going anywhere, Penelope, I'll hold you every night from now until forever," He swore, and she smiled, stroking his face.

"You know, the shrink said that I need to take a vacation for like a week to someplace nice, with like a spa and everything. She also suggested I take you with me. Maybe I'll call Hotch and ask if you can have the week off too,"

"I don't think that'll happen, baby girl," Morgan said regretfully, and Garcia beamed wickedly.

"Who can say no to me?"

Morgan laughed and gently brushed the hair from her forehead, kissing her and saying, "Good point. Even if you do go to that spa you can count on one thing,"

"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"That I won't leave your side, no matter what," He whispered.

"I truly do love you, Derek Morgan,"

"I truly do love you, Penelope Garcia,"

**Yes, I am a sucker for happy endings, usually. I also realize that in my last two Criminal Minds stories, I've pretty much tortured Garcia. First in my 'Too Hard To Say Goodbye' story I killed her, and in this one I had her kill someone. I think in my next story I should write with so much fluff that you lovely readers nearly choke on it. Again, thank you SO much for reading this story, and I hope you enjoyed it!**


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